Hi, blog, it's so long right......how many day ya i've never been here, missing to tell ya all the events, but seems too exhausted for me,...just thinking of it make me feel.......aaahhhh....tired.......
But today, this morning, is the most beautiful morning i've got this month, the wind blow so nice, the sun rise clearly, the new day the new hopes and the new paradigm,always hope for the different paradigm for the next day......
This week is the most stressfull week for me especially, but amazingly it's not just for me but also for the whole CBC officer....
We feel that there is no blood flow in our body, while our job ask for more, need us to settle them down, and everybody seemed in a hurry, did this, did that, call from head office, call from big boss, you have to do this, you have to do that........call the customer, ask them to fulfill their liability, ask them for their audited financial report, bla..bla..what else???
All I can do is how to enjoy my job, how to handle the high pressure, how to manage the job, which one the first, which the most priority, but...I'm only human, I have emotion, up and down, depends on how I handle it, but sometimes it can't help me so much..........
Sometimes I speak rudely, I mean ofcourse out of my control.........yeaahh...you know, bad mood always have the place on high pressure like that, the most when somebody blame you....uugghhhhh.......just wanna kill him, that's all......but okay.......
And today, maybe influenced by the very good air, and the bright day, everybody in my office seems so happy, yeeahh at least I can see smile on our face, can speak to each other, I can hear laugh over there, no high volume of voice, I can sing again, listening to my mp3, you know jazz for relax, so sweet..........so different from the previous day...........
and the most, I have a special time to write this column, great.........
Sometimes, when I think about this all, I feel so tired.......
How longer will I take this, how longer will I gonna be like this, what am I looking for in my life make me work like a crazy person, sometimes don't have enough time for myself and my husband??
Who am I gonna defence, Mandiri, or my self, my husband, my stomach, my future??
Alright, it's about a choice, and really a hard choice I guess........
And I also think, it's just about the time!!
I believe and I know, that everybody wants a better life than the day before, and everybody should do their best for themselves, their family, their future...................so do I!!
I have a dream, one day, in my 40th, I retired with a fix business, I can do it from home............
Or even a dream, that one day, I retired in my 40th with billion money in our pocket, just enjoy this life by travelling all around the world with my husband.........so nice,.......until the day going down, rest in piece!!
Voila...............alright, it's just a dream I'm looking forward, and hope God bless me!!!
Ok......but yesterday, when I got lunch with Noriko at Spice Garden Sun Plaza, I met Markus lunch there too with his friends.....who is Markus??
hahahaha, he is my ex boy friend when I was at college.........
And Noriko got a stranger feeling, she asked me,"Itu beneran bekas pacar lo??"
"he..eh"
"Kok lo biasa2 aja, kok gak salah tingkah??"
What?? Salah tingkah? Kenapa aku harus salah tingkah?? Emang penting ya salah tingkah di depan mantan pacar??
It's goddamned funny Noriko........but I understand her meaning in asking that.......
I'm a bit different with others perhaps, but it's just okay..........
but the real fact I feel sorry for Markus, cause I did a bad thing the old day when we were still being "lover"
Exactly I didn't love him, I didn't have feeling at all for him, and exactly it was just a game with my friend, who gonna get Markus as boy friend, we will pay the lunch for the winner for a month...........and surely I was the winner karena kenekatanku menyatakan cinta padanya.........oh no, seorang Markus untuk ganti makan siang gratis sebulan, gile...
Markus was a good boy, handsome, and I guess too good to be through........
Maybe some guys tell me that I'm lucky being his girlfriend, but not so for me................
We being through as lover just for 6 months, after that "so long baby", I have to cut this relationship, I can't hang on anymore, so we separate......aku yang jadiin aku juga yang mutusin
6 months he believes in my feeling, but 6 months I can't hang on with the situation, controversial, I've never been ready to make a relationship, just for fun, just become friend, not seriously.................
Exactly he is a good guy, care, and always call me, but never got me at Saturday night, cause I always gave him 1000 reasons for being alone..................
I thank God, he doesn't know that, he doesn't know about the gambling, hahahahhahah.........
But yesterday I met him, I saw him not the same person like the old day, where is the handsome, it's gone.........
But thank God he's alive, save and sound, hehehhehhee...........
And he told me, he has married, and already divorce..........what?? divorce??
I had no time yesterday to ask the reason of the divorce, but I think better not.............let it be his own problem!
So sorry, but......I have go back to my office, back to work, so let it be................
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