GOTCHA!

Yeah..yeah..yeah...he called me just a couple of hours ago, not sure for what.......actually he always has something to know or something he needs make him call me, maybe....

first, I didn't wanna pick up my phone when I saw the number +6277121007, it was too long for me to pick it up, but .....it seem I have a good mood today, generousity, happines, so why don't I pick it up, I thought...

but hey...he asked me about traveling to Tanjung Pandan.........hahahhaha........

don't be so busy about that guy.........

you don't have to give notice of that guy,.............I've already known all I wanna know about how to travel to Tanjung Pandan, about the place, about the hotel, about the hotel tariff.......

I've already know baby.......but not from you..........

It's time for me to show him in our conversation that I've known, I knew that there is no plane from Palembang to Tanjung Pandan, I knew that there is boat from Palembang to Tanjung Pandan, I knew.........ok

I showed him by not asking him about Tanjung Pandan anymore..........

I showed him by not telling him what I suppose to be there for..........I said I wanna go there

just for travelling, why should I tell him the real.........nah..
I showed him by talking another topic..........

So give it up baby, I need nothing from you....hehhehe......
I just appreciate your call.................

WHAT A HORRIBLE THING!

It was a morning after briefing, my boss called me to his room and showed something shocked me very much, too much number of money he showed about plane ticket unpaid.

Oh my gosh, this much.....I had have no idea about that......how could that occured??

I just can't help my self on blinking....What on earth can do such a horrible thing like that??

uh-oh, come on baby, it's such a little amusement in this passage of official life..............

"Take it your assignment to find out how it could happened, and you take what would you do with that!!" my boss murmured

Jesus Christ, what am I gonna do with this crook??!

After checking all the account, I've found out so many intrigues in it, and so much number of money take place on it, and everybody who got involved with that gain a number of money.......and it was all about money.............

Jesus, everybody had stolen from my company.................too fade to knew that...........

I wasn't too naif with all this stuff, I knew it happened all the time, and I just don't wanna get involved with that kind, there's nothing to do with that, and I just don't wanna judge anyone......but now I have to do something about it, for the sake of my company........and I can't resist to accomplish it.........

I don't wanna annoy anyone with all the points I've got from tracing the account, but have to proper the stuff circumspectly.........

SOOOOOO HAPPY..!!

I'M SO HAPPY, I'VE GOT WHAT I WANT!!!

DEFLATED

Such a cloudy day! Cold! But thank God my brain still warm, full of plan, job, live, home stuff, travel plan......bla..bla..bla..

Yeahh....I'm gonna take a travel again, if everything's going smooth obviously on August!

That's why last Friday I called Jo, just to asked him somehow I don't know about the place, cause I will take a trip to Tanjung Pandan..........his hometown.....

First I sent him messages, asking about the hotel, and he answered some, but exactly he answered with another question, and such a suspicious question I guess.............

I can take it as a usual thing..........but you know, rather uncomfortable.....

Maybe he suspected me wanna know something about his stuff in Tanjung Pandan, or somekind like that.......really "NO", why should I, I have nothing to do about that........

But ok lah, maybe better for me to speak with him directly by phone.........

and then I called him, the first ok there is no problem......

but then.......I just asked him something I wanna know about that town, I did the same thing when I went to Yogyakarta, Semarang, Bandung, and Tanjung Pinang last couple months......and all my friends answered it without any comment, without asking why, without murmuring, so why should he..........

What the reason gitu loohhhh......it's just answering a question, not really a hard work I guess, but why should he tell me "no need to ask that, just come, and you'll find the town, you can ask everyone.........."

Yeahh.....I know that, I can ask everyone, that's why I ask him, cause I know nobody there......

I just wanna know for sure the situation from his answer all about that town before I arriving the town........but what have I got??!!

After that, all I wanna do is shout in front of his face.........

But, ok........that's such a nice try to me..........we draw, 1-1

I knew already this whole time, that he is such a smug guy..............

I really in hesitate that time when calling him, aku takut dia berpikiran aku punya maksud2 tertentu (sehubungan dengan perasaanku ke dia), aku takut dia anggap aku hanya cari perhatiannya, aku takut dia anggap aku mau ganggu dia, but I should call him, cause nobody I can ask for this time........and the hesitate answered.......

I didn't wanna find any problem with him again, I didn't wanna get anger with him again, cause I really have no right for that, I have nothing to do about that........it's not really good I guess if I did something bad to him, cause we're just friend ......andddd....I'm really nobody to make something bad to him, but sometimes I can't hang on with him......

it's not really the same again like the old day when we were in a good communication.........

I wonder how we made it so nicely at that time, but not a chance for now on............

and I know it's all about the burden I avoid with strong enough.......

If there is a good chance for me to speak with him, I wish I got the best topic to speak, simultanously with the mood........

kalo bisa aku ingin mengesampingkan perasaan tersinggung atas cara bicaranya, atau apalah itu, dan menganggap itu angin lalu, but I'm afraid I can't.......I always offended with his way, don't know why........

Tapi mungkin sikapnya seperti itu layak buatku, karena aku juga cukup "jahat" sama dia, aku selalu gak angkat telpon dari dia, atau mungkin karena aku sering kurang merespon perkataan dia padahal sebenarnya dia ingin ceritakan, gak taulah........atau bahkan karena aku selalu mengeluarkan kata2 marah buat dia.........wajar kali ya........

Tapi aku yakin dia sudah tau kenapa aku bersikap seperti itu, karena semuanya sudah aku ceritakan di blog ini, dan berdasarkan smsnya waktu aku cuti kemaren, dia bilang blogku hebat banget......berarti dia udah baca dong.....dan dengan membaca blogku mungkin dia bisa mengerti kenapa aku seperti itu........bukan untuk berniat jahat, atau berniat tidak baik sama dia.......it's not such an amusement for me......

Ntar kalo aku mencoba bermanis2 lagi ke dia, aku takut dia mengira aku punya maksud2 tertentu, atau pingin mencari perhatian, atau mau mengganggu dia.........

Kadang2....bukan kadang2 sih, pastinya aku selalu serba salah..........

Tapi kalo emang benar dia bersikap begitu karena sikap burukku sama dia.......yahhh let it be like thatlah.......

I JUST DON'T WANNA GET ANY PROBLEM WITH YOU GUY! WHAT EVER IT IS!

Why we can't be so nice again like the old day.........

The answer are all in this blog!! Get through it!!

Apa ini...??!!

Aduuuhhh......bego banget sih aku....

Aku tadi terima telepon dari no hp, aku nggak ingat itu no hp siapa, aku angkat aja teleponnya, ternyata itu JO.....my God..........

kalo telpon dari no 0771xxxxx sih mungkin aku tau itu dari siapa

Lho kok bisa nggak tau itu no siapa sih??

Ya bisalah, minggu lalu gue bersih2 hp, jadi no hp dia aku hapus dari memory hp ku, jadi terhapus juga dari memory otakku.......emang nape??

Trus gimana?!

Ya dia emang telepon untuk menanyakan sesuatu hal yang mungkin dia butuhkan, tapi tadi sempat juga tanya kabar (bener gak tadi nanya kabar ya, lupa gue, tapi ya gitulah), nanya emang kemaren jalan2 kemana, ya udah gue kasih tau aja, gue bilang juga ketemu mas Iwan, and mbak Lita, terus nanya kemaren2 kenapa teleponnya gak dijawab2, udah sekian kali telepon.........

hmmm....(seandainya dikau tau guy!)....ohh ya lagi sombong aja gue bilang........biarin aja, terserah deh........

telepon dia tadi gue angkat juga karena gue gak hapal itu no hp siapa, kalo hapal, gak kuangkat juga kali tadi.......

tapi kasian juga ya....

what???? sanggup2nya gue kasian sama dia karena gak angkat telepon dia, trus gimana sama diri gue sendiri, apa gue kasian..........it hurts me so much, Ta, come on...

Katanya kangen, katanya pengen di telepon sama dia, udah ditelpon masih gak terima juga......kali aja itu karena "bintang ajtuh", gimana sih jeng??!

lho, gue kan gak minta tuh sama dia supaya dia telpon gue, bintang jatuh apaan........, lagian mana gue percaya, I just wish, gue cuma pengen aja, ofcourse karena gue kangen, yeahhh it's true, I miss him so much..........

ok, maybe a part of my body and soul feels very happy tadi waktu terima telpon dia, but the other part feels uncomfortable.......perasaan bersalah, benci, rindu, dendam, jadi satu........

aku menghindari telpon dia, atau berbicara sama dia, just want to keep my soul feels comfortable, tidak terganggu dalam saat2 ini.....

aku cuma berpegang pada pemikiran bahwa aku tidak punya kewajiban untuk kasih kabar ke dia, begitu juga dia tidak punya kewajiban kasih kabar ke aku......

aku nggak punya kewajiban untuk ngobrol dengan dia, dan dia juga nggak punya kewajiban ngobrol dengan aku..........

just think about the time before I met him, sama sekali gue gak pernah kenal dia, I don't even think there is a man named "Yohanes Himawan Widagdo", so.......kenapa harus......anggap aja aku masih belum kenal dia seperti dulu.........

Kangen itu perlahan nanti akan hilang juga, asal gue mencoba terus untuk ngelupain dia........

kesannya kok kejam banget ya, he is your friend, isn't he?? apa lu sanggup bilang dia bukan teman lu Ta, apa lu sanggup bilang kalo lo belum pernah kenal dia sebelumnya.....why don't u be realistic??

ya sih............tapi realita kali ini bikin aku.........gimana ya..........

aku juga nggak mau seperti ini.......kenapa aku lemah dalam permasalahan ini, kenapa tidak seperti biasanya saat aku menghadapi permasalahan, biasanya aku kuat, dan bisa sembuh cukup cepat..........

mungkin karena ini masalah yang terlalu memperjuangkan kepantasan, memperjuangkan hati nurani yang selalu bertolak belakang...

anyway, semoga gue berhasil......

and anyway, thanks..........